News News |
Children, children! CHILDREN! That’s right – listen up, and gather ’round, I have a story to tell.
‘Twas the Winter of 2023 and 2024, and there was a burgeoning new it-boy in Hollywood. Tall enough to tower over almost all, with a swooping jawline that came down to a cleft on his chin, and these big blinking brown eyes that swept you away. This boy already had proven his resolve as the star of three of the cutest little teenage rom-com tales called “Kissing Booth.” But this it-boy had grown up and had decided he was an it-man, wanting to spread his wings to take on more serious roles, more prestigious projects.
And of course, Hollywood was more than happy to oblige him.
Back-to-back, he got both the historical biopic from a critically-acclaimed director and the zesty script straight from the top of the pile of every CAA agent’s desk. What a time! His name was Jacob Elordi, children. Oh, was he any good at acting? No, children, he certainly was not. That gorgeous face carved out of stone had the same ability to convert emotion as settling concrete.
My editor claims I’m five weeks late getting to this one, but I say nay.
Movies like “Saltburn” are a slow burn. It comes out, and for the first couple of weeks, word of mouth spreads in haggard whispers that it is this year’s indie darling. Then it languishes for a bit as everybody figures out if it’s cool enough to talk openly about at social gatherings, where they discover that their friends have seen it, too! Rejoice! This finally solidifies the film firmly in the zeitgeist and gets it a second wider rerelease or, in this case, comes out on streaming early.
What I’m trying to say here is that I’m right on time.
“Saltburn” has struck a lightning bolt into audiences and polarized us. Honestly – and without the usual amount of facetiousness dripping from my voice – that’s a good thing. Good art is not supposed to make you feel good; it’s supposed to make you feel something. Nobody is walking out of “Saltburn” unmoved at what they were presented, even if it’s simmering rage about some of the more preposterous elements.
A flick like “Saltburn” can drive you mad, can tie your brain into gushy garlic knots as you try to unwind the dense script that at times is paired with a rapid editing style to make the viewing positively exhilarating. You’ll see the pink-to-blue color palette and marvel at some of the best production design I’ve seen outside of Far East Cinema possibly ever.
That’s not hyperbole – every inch of this frame was so heavily calculated that it is imperative to laud it, so that we get more of it. Director Emerald Fennel has split away from the previous generation of directors who climb all over themselves trying to get the best Steadicam shot and instead focus on immaculate art direction. It evokes a sense of wonder in the audience that is so undeniable that you forget Elordi’s middling acting, or that Oliver (Barry Keoghan) goes from sputtering geek to pansexual legend within an hour without much reason, and that the film as a whole has some serious pacing issues.
Perhaps with more experience, Fennel can develop a tighter fist around her productions, as “Saltburn” could have caused me to make a 2023 in Review redux where it makes my top 5 of the year and I start smoking cigarettes again. Maybe I’m just a sucker for any movie where hot people smoke inside.
I don’t know if we’ll get more Elordi for the next five years. He has talked about wanting to move away from the silly movies of his past; but perhaps, he should learn to enjoy them as it is where his talents are best suited. “Priscilla” made money but didn’t have much legs, and for the bubbling talk about “Saltburn,” he is rarely mentioned in the conversation about it. To get the It-boy crown in Hollywood, you need to be undeniable – and Elordi isn’t quite that.
I did tear up at the end. Felt real pain and sadness having been pulled into the “Saltburn” world to decipher the cathedral of lying that had been built around our main characters. Who amongst us hasn’t fibbed a bit to make themselves seem more interesting? Fabricated a backstory that was more romantic than reality? It’s a very real, very smart theme that is often shied away from.
“Saltburn” is a well-thought-out movie that maintains its coolness over two hours and shows us that Fennel is the true star to look out for.
Critic Score: 7.9/10
Jack Simon is a mogul coach and writer/director who enjoys eating food he can’t afford, traveling to places out of his budget, and creating art about skiing, eating, and traveling while broke. Check out his website jacksimonmakes.com to see his Jack’s Jitney travelogue series. You can email him at jackdocsimon@gmail.com for inquiries of any type.
Exciting Opportunity Awaits! Attention all dynamic individuals! Are you a multitasking marvel with a passion for organization? Look no further…
System Operator I-II Glenwood Springs Full time position responsible for the operation & control of various aspects of the Holy…
We are looking for… Customer Service Technician – (BilingualRequired) Rifle • Heavy Equipment Operators I or II – Rifle and…
Are you passionate about fashion and styling? Is customer service in your DNA? MAX Aspen is looking for an experienced…
Patrol & monitor several premises regularly in Aspen & SNV; enforce rules & regulations to prevent unauthorized access/activities; respond to…
WE ARE HIRING! Excellent Benefits Package! Paid Time Off (no waiting period), Free Bus Pass, Health Insurance, Employee Wellness Programs,…
Are you someone who cares about patients? Who loves solving problems? With great communication skills and attention to detail? If…
Exciting Opportunity Awaits! Join Our Dynamic Team! Are you a skilled electrician or a service technician looking for a thrilling…
Accountant Private Asset Management Office in Eagle / Garfield, CO $85K – $120K Medical, dental, vision insurance, paid time off,…
In search of full-time employee for our property management business in Carbondale. Locations for work would shuffle between our Carbondale…
Sign up for daily and breaking news headlines.
Manage Subscriptions
Loading …
It’s been pretty darn cold lately. What’s the best way to stay warm?
View Results
Jobs
Classifieds
Autos
Real Estate
Rentals
Service Directory
Pets
Merchandise
Legals
Place Legal Ad
Search Legal Ads
Farm & Ranch
Recreation
Announcements
Contact Us
Become a Carrier
Submissions
Submit an Obituary
Advertise
Archives
Newsletters
Buy Photos
Commercial Print Sales
RSS
Aspen E-edition
Snowmass E-edition
Cookie List
Do not sell my personal information
Breckenridge – Summit County
Craig – Moffat County
Glenwood Springs – Rifle
Park City – Utah
Steamboat Springs – Routt County
Vail – Eagle Valley
Winter Park – Granby – Grand County
Aspen High School – Skier Scribbler
Printing Press Jobs
©2005 – 2024 Swift Communications, Inc.
Leave a Reply